Is Using the Same Divorce Attorney a Mistake?
By B. Mills
My Ex and I get along really good and the divorce is amicable. Is it a good idea to use the same divorce attorney?
In a word—NO! The reason is that it is impossible for one divorce attorney to represent Party A and Party B at the same time. This is a conflict of interest which will likely not work out in your favor. What happens is that by using only one attorney one party ends up giving favorable conditions (Usually the female gets the favorable terms-especially with kids) but the other party is left with all the debt, support, and legal woes. Simply put, you’re screwing yourself royally by using only one divorce attorney! How do I know this, because I thought I was taking the high road trying to keep my Ex happy and drama free throughout our separation and subsequent divorce by using the same attorney. What ended up happening was she got all the legal advice and favorable terms, (which I was even dumb enough to pay for!) and I got stuck with no representation, all the credit card debt, business debt, and a very unfair child support payments that cost thousands of dollars more a year than my legal income would have permitted. If I had hired my own divorce attorney, I know I could have worked out more favorable terms with my Ex and came out of this divorce in much better financial shape and in a much faster time frame than I did.
The best advice I ever received was from a retired attorney who was a family friend of ours. He told me when I first got separated, “Don’t’ be in such a hurry to get rid of your Ex and be single again that you speed rush through your divorce with terms unfavorable to you.” I really wished I had listened to this advice because that’s exactly what I did and she took me to the cleaners with “our” attorney. Please don’t make the same mistake I did. Always get your own legal divorce representation. If she can’t afford one, then that’s no longer your problem. Stop supporting your soon to be Ex, he/she must learn to live on there own now. (Believe me, I was way too nice during our divorce and I freed myself in the short term but paid the price in the long term) A divorce is never going to be pretty and smooth unless you want to give in and take all the baggage of the divorce that I’ll be willing to bet wasn’t all yours to begin with. Your Ex should bear his/her load too. So if you want to move on and be happy again, get your own legal representation, you’ll be so glad you did! I wish I had.
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